finally went out tonight for the first time since the surgery. feels good to step out of the house.

randy has a corvette z06, akash has a viper, ellis has a supra TT. everyone has a supercar but me. need to get an NSX to complete the missing puzzle. still, i will be the slowest. grrrrrr

what my doctor recommended was rest and watch a lot of TV/DVD's. never knew watching TV can heal bones. so far this is what i have watched:

MOVIES
1) Unleashed - the movie with Jet Li as a slave fighter
2) King Arthur - ft. keira knightly and her battles with the knights
3) Fearless - another Jet Li movie
4) Hero - and another Jet li movie
5) Lethal Weapon 4 - saw this already but, always good to see mel and jet li fight.
(srsly it wasnt planned, jet li was coincidently on TV a lot these days)

DAILY TV SHOWS
1) Dr. 90210 - one of my favorite reality shows has now ended. Dr. Ray is a stud. i shoulda became a plastic surgeon :(
2) #1 single - lisa loeb's quest to find a husband before she turns 40. not going well at all :(
3) music channels - mostly on VH1 country and MTV Classic 80's
4) Fuel TV - just reminiscing the fun, good ole days of skate/snowboarding. i have to make a return to street skateboarding one day.
5) Travels To Europe - this is the best 30 mins of my day. i love europe so much.
6) the academy awards - did i mention 8 hours on the couch?

things you discover when you watch so much TV. i discovered a new reality show on the country channel. similar to Pimp My Ride on MTV, Trick My Truck is about a team of mechanics willing to soup up a Big rig truck for those who are in need of one. soooo whitetrash but soo good! id watch this over "pimp my ride" anyday.

i was talking to some 23 year old guy almost graduating college. he tells me that money does not buy love. he says all you need is love and youll be fine. yes i admit, even i thought that way before, but it was when i was immature and a freshman in highschool. so, from what my dad has taught me before i was gonna enlighten him with it. i told him money does buy love in a way. then this guy says yes, only if you want a gold digger. right from the start, i knew this guy is immature and simple minded @ 23. i sorta understand why because, he is still in college where relationships comes so easily. even a study group is sometimes overlooked as a date. its not much different from highschool. everything seems so easy because you have financial help from your loans or parents and your bills arent even that much working at dairy queen. going out, shopping, movies and a dinner each weekend wont even dent your wallet. everything is fine.

fast forward a couple years. you both graduate and decide to move out cuz it seems like the typical american norm. get the hell out of the parents house and youll have freedom. so you both find this really cute apt for $2000/month. the payment just to keep your honda civics legal and running is $400/month. the utilities bill is another $200. your health insurance alone totals $500. your wife is pregnant and a baby is coming so she cant work anymore and your income is only $40,000 gross and $25,000 net after taxes. but fuck, you still have to pay for groceries and daily expenses! your wife is complaining she hasnt been on a vacation for a while and you are the one that says you cant afford it. you really want to buy her a nice diamond ring, but you cant. you wanna take her to a nice restaurant and watch movies like old times but you only have $20 in your wallet. one day you come home from work and she starts bitching about why the cable tv is cut off, and how come the phone/water stopped working? at the same time your 5 month old kid is screaming in the background. after a couple weeks, she comes home with a lawyer and divorce papers in her hand. she tells you she found a new guy where she didnt have to work and would take care of her child and make her happy. so where is the love now? i thought love is all you needed? what happened to the "love will always prevail slogan / happy ending, romance movie bullshit"? doesnt exist. not in reality.

so my friend says these hardships is a test for a relationship and both struggling makes you two stronger. but do you really wanna take the chance and suffer through this shithole? i doubt it. and what are the chances of making it through? i have friends with a religion that believes love is a priority, love is happiness, love is #1!!! so, they all got married at 20 and have kids at 23, while some still in college, some dropping out. now i see them pathetically living with their parents or going to the army. another couple had to move to farmland nebraska because of the high cost of living in arizona which is already considered low. being my best pack of friends in high school, i feel sorry for them now. then, my friend also says its not necessary to have a child and that both couples can save up. he mentioned "saving up". right away, this means both of you are working your overtime asses off at low paying jobs and saving up just to live in a small house with a mortgage over your head. its just shooting yourselves in the foot. saving up is done best when youre single along with smart long term investments. something even i need to remind myself of. (need that NSX!!! haha)

so, that was basically what my dad said to me back when i was in highschool. i had nothing to say back to him. hes always right about life experiences. one time he told me to write the checks for the bills just to see how much it was to keep the household going. let me just say it took a good hour and it made me cringe even with just 3 of us in the house. basically, he wanted to give me this vivid imagery which i could see clearly and never forget. and i did. i imagined everything to the slightest detail. it wasnt pleasant. anyone can live a life opposite of the above, just takes some sacrifice and a strong will. so after saying all this to my friend, i hope i saved another life from going to waste. and let me just modify something, that money doesnt buy love, it maintains it.

if i dont die from infection, im prolly gonna die from bordem. for example, today i spent 7 and a half hours watching the oscars from red carpet arrivals to the post show parties. i laid so long on the couch that i forgot to drink anything and have this massive headache and minor fever.

so heres how my days have been since monday.

1. wake up at noon
2. eat a bowl of oatmeal
3. take a nap
4. wake up at 5pm
5. eat chicken and rice
6. watch TV till 10pm
7. eat dinner at 11pm
8. go on the computer
9. go to bed at 2am

just if you didnt know, you dont see shower in there cuz i cant shower. i can only wipe myself which is a pain in the ass cuz i feel so dirty. a year ago when i was in the hospital, i couldnt shower for a whole month. imagine that. now i know why senior citizens are always tired and depressed because of their lack of activity. not only do i feel like one, i act like one from not having a choice.

i can walk without a cane, but i choose to because i dont wanna take risks. my right arm is pretty swollen from tissue trauma. and my right thigh bone hurts a litle when i put lateral force on it because i dont think its 100% calcified. that worries me. the only thing that is closest to normal is my left leg. no pain at all. i just cant wait to take off these bandages.