i reached my desired weight. im ready for my surgery. ready to be under morphine and vicodin. ready to have my ass wiped for me. ready to look like frankenstein. my pimp cane and wheelchair are ready! bring it!

An awesome song written by Brad Paisley. its actually like a riddle. i took out the answer which is the title to the song.

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
with somebody twice
your size. . .

Well I've been known to cause a few breakups
and I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work.

(Chorus)
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin the bars
With lots of big money
and helpin white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
and college now that was a ball
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me
(..............)

I got blamed at your wedding reception
for your best man's emberrasing speech
and also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
and I`ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
put that lampshade on your head . .

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin a fool out of folks
just like you
and helpin white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me
<.............>

i woke up pretty damn early today to change my brakes. its funny how you meet people there that are also waiting for their cars to get fixed. so this chinese guy in his 60's starts talking to me. he has gray hair and a miracle ear. one thing to another, he tells me about how his car's trunk wouldnt open, his 20 year job at the post office, and ways to become rich. after hearing these things, i just thought he was any other wise asian man giving advice to a young asian man. they say the same shit. conversations always leads to making it big. it doesnt bother me, but if youre such a hotshot why arent you rich yourself? he also speaks in this soft voice due to the uncalibrated miracle ear. then the last part of the convo is what made me think he was a loon. his wife goes across the street to buy him a drink and outta the blue he whispers to me, "dont get married." i asked why. he tells me how hes been married twice and has 2 kids with the first and second wife. he complains how he has to pay child support for 10 years which costed him $800 per month. then i told him, i dont even have a gf, but i do eventually want a good wife. he then says, "not till 35". WTF? 35?? hell no! i dont think ill be able to make kids that old. what a lunatic! he shouldnt have been a fuck up at the first place!

i have conquered the west coast! the last link of the puzzle has been fulfilled! after this road trip, i have been in all the western states: cal, az, utah, wyom, oregon, wash, nev, and idaho. so it all started with my friend wanting to buy a toyota supra turbo. he skipped out on this great deal in valencia, so we had to bust a road trip to richland, in the south eastern portion of washington state. the road trip started around 11pm on thursday. i started the first leg of the drive due to my vampire-like abilities to stay up long lengths of time. we had rented this beater that turned out to be a wonder-car. we had underestimated the power of the chevy cavalier. goin up through california on the interstate 5 is like a postcard changing in your face. ive never been past sacramento and it turns out that the landscape begins to change into a forest-like land with coniferous tress and snow capped mountains. after that, oregon was just so green. the air outside had the scent that reminds me of christmas. landmarks we passed by were lake shasta, mt shasta, mt hood, and the huge columbia river that borders oregon and washington. each way, the trip took 16 hours, 1300 miles, which was mostly non-stop with the exception of gas and food stops. i get to break my record of mileage driven since salt lake city! luckily for my extreme tastes in music, my brain was powered by the music of local country radio stations and the beats of DJ James zabiela. yea dont ask, these are on opposites sides of the music spectrum. there were times where i dozed off for a couple seconds and other times where the road started to play tricks on my head. if it were not for my singing, i would have gone off the cliff. anyways, richland is an arrid city with a population of 150000. i have not yet seen a minority. luckily the people were nice to us, unless they were being sarcastic. who would have known there would be a pristine supra there? after my friend bought it, i think the fastest car in the city now is a 1997 honda accord with altezza lights.


lake shasta

mt shasta

welcome!

portland, oregon

looking at washington side across the columbia river

the dalles dam

richland? POS view outside the motel

1997 turbo supra new: $39,999 sticker price, bought used for: $40,000, crazy!

abandoned restaurant somewhere in the middle of oregon.