starting today my trainer told me i can eat rice but then, i had to take out all sodium. so last night i went to the market and bought $100 worth of raw chicken breasts and turkey breasts. they are low in sodium, 99% fat free, 0 carb, and high in protein. so without salt, i had to buy Mrs. dash chicken seasoning that is salt free. its loaded with garlic so it makes the chicken taste good. after eating rice (brown), i felt human again. i was actually alert driving on the freeway and my vision got better. i went to train and the pump was crazy and i actually did my posing routine from start to finish without forgetting. i realized how important carbs are for your brain.

after this competition, i have another project but a rewarding one. my dad is sponsoring me a trip to europe for a month. im going with akash and so far we plan on staying in 4 cities each for a week. first week is london, then paris, spain, and last, rome italy. we'll take the eurostar train from london to paris and the rest well fly. we leave on july 26. so much for taking french 1, i already forgot most of it. my dad is a nice guy afterall.

i am 3 days out and im flatter than a ethiopian marathon runner. yesterday was my worst day of all because i get miserable at dieting, miserable at how my body looks, and miserable because i feel like shit during workouts. even cardio seems like a breeze compared to working out. what kept me going is how my trainer tells me that its all part of the plan in carb depleting and im right on track. i got a confidence boost right there because i thoght im still 195lbs and i look like shit. half year ago when i was 195, i couldnt even see my 6-pack. the reason is muscle density is more than fat, so i must retained a lot of muscle. i can see striations on my quads, chest, and side of the glutes. the skin is loose and the muscles are now depleted of carbs making it soft and small, but on the day of the show, ill be taking in lots of simple carbs to fill out the muscles with water expanding the skin from underneath making it look tight and veiny. i just cant wait to eat anything with carbs. even a slice of white bread sounds like a slab of prime rib to me. i dont know if i have the will power to do another show because eating various foods is what i like to do no matter what the price is. after the show, ill be going to vegas to eat at all the best buffets and restaurants.