the tuesday deals are back.

Mcdonalds brought back the 99 cents 6 piece chicken mcnuggets on tuesdays and church's chicken has the 2 piece thigh and leg special also for 99 cents. i must take advantage of these deals while they are still available.

last night there was this fight and i was right there. 2 mexicans were sorta pushing each other. one was fat around 275 lbs and the other was the more athletic built guy around 210lbs. we dont tolerate any kind of rough housing so we told them to get out. so when they were walking out, the smaller guy decides to punch the fat guy in the face. the next thing you know, he ran out the door and the fat guy was knocked out cold. his eyes were open but he was on the ground. his mouth was bloody and i had to drag him out the side door. then i let the other people take care of him. he was conscious after 15 min on the ground.

i went to the cal poly graduation this morning and it was a ghetto graduation. first of all it was outdoor so it was hot as heck. the stage was a concrete platform which is not intended to be used as stage during school time. the national anthem was sang by this asian dude who was off note at times. folding chairs were set up, but everyone had to stand up because it wasnt set on an incline where you can look over the heads in front of you. the president made a ghetto speech that i thought was sorta retarded. he said that as graduates, we are all qualified to be presidents of the united states and that over the years, he has seen aerospace engineers become artists, biologists who have become politicians, math majors become lawyers, etc. in my opinion we have chosen our majors because we are interested in it and want to pursue a career similar to it. although we can be whoever we want, it still seems like the president's speech was contradicting the whole graduation theme.

Now theres ghetto peck, in talking about the debate club Will a member of the debate clubs mentions how the club gets to travel and this year they would be going to Europe, and that next year they might got to Brazil. So excitedly Joe emotionally says how bad he now wants to join the club "shoot ill join then... free trip shoot" then jason noticing joes excitement stares dead eye with joe and says " Joe u have to pay your own way." What the heck! oh heck no! im not joining then says joe...shoot ill get a fundraiser then or some donations so i can go to Brazil with them. Now that is ghettoness> walnut hillbillies forever!!!

-anonymous tipper

ChicK With Dick:

my friend ellis who got me the job at the boogie told me that for the past 3 weeks, a cambodian shemale has been coming to the club. yesterday night i saw her for the first time and tonight, I saw her in action. ("her" = him) Ellis told me that she only likes white boys and tonight, i saw a helpless victim fall in the trap. She held his hand and he followed her wherever she went. She knows that all the bouncers in there know that she is a guy. then she took him to this secluded corner and starts macking on the guy. after they finished, she walked away and we went up to him and told him that he was making out with a guy. he didnt believe us, so we told him to take another look and listen to her deep manly voice. then he finally realized she was a guy. he was so embarrassed i think he ran out and killed himself. i decided to follow her around the club and she sorta knew and looks annoyed. i know its sad to make fun of her, but i just wanted to see how she manages to get guys. she does have implants, but she still has a penis because one time after she got out of the womens bathroom, she was shuffling with the tight jeans to rearrange her penis so itll look inconspicuous. if you look at her from the back, you wouldnt tell that she is a guy. but once she turns around, she looks pretty ugly. those white guys are prob drunk and think they are the pimp. even if she was a girl, shes still so dang ugly especially with blonde hair. but one thing she pulls off pretty good is having the hour glass figure and a girl's plump butt.

my job today was pretty cool. i stood in front of the counter where the girls danced on top. my job was to protect the girls and help carry them down when they finished dancing. it was off the hook after the wet t-shirt contest. i had to stay there and get sprayed by the girls, but everybody in the club wanted to be where i was. there was this very pretty half asian/white girl who i was checking out, then she sticks her butt in my face and soaks me. what should i have done!!!!??? just wait till i get more fond of the people there because i hear she is a regular!

last night i went to the boogie not to go clubbing but to get hired as a bouncer on the spot. i carpooled with ellis, my friend from the gym who has been working there for 3 years. i went in there at 8pm and signed some forms, they gave me a shirt and that was it. for the whole night i walked around the club with ellis drinking free sodas and eating free pizza. my main job is to check out the ladies to make sure they are looking good and having fun. there are about 15 other bouncers like me who does this as well and are better at it. my main concern is for the white girls and latinas. the obese ones and the "little saigon" ladies, they frighten me. they look like either scarecrows or hippos. for this job i only work on thursday nights and friday nights, 4-5 hours a night. already last night, i got 2 kisses, one from a white girl and another from a chica, they like to flirt with uniformed men. and i got this hand signal from a latina who like wanted to grab my crotch while licking her lips at the same time. these girls are freaky.

it was club kiss last night, where they have these stickers that look like lips and you are supposed to slap it on girls buttcheeks. there was this one girl who pulled down her pants and showed me that her butt cheeks were cherry red from all the slappin. she was wearing nothing underneath. on friday nights are wet t-shirt contests, that will be interesting. the perks that we get are cool. i can get my friends on the guestlist and you can get to the front of the line and walk in free. if people go with me, they can get free soda or $1 drinks and pizza. after work, the dennys across the street hooks it up with appetizers and 20% off entrees.

in conclusion, this job is a piece of cake compared to the slavery i have gone through with UPS and the pet store.


the boogie

last night jerry, jay and i headed out to hollywood for the one-of-a-kind roscoe's chicken and waffles. whenever in hollywood, if you are in the right time and the right place, you are bound to see a celebrity. if you were a celebrity, where would you eat? would you be stuck up and always eat at the gourmet restaurants that serve prime tofu steaks for $100 an ounce? well, if i had the money you wouldnt care, but once in a while, I would pay my homage to mcdonalds and roscoes chicken and waffles. last night jerry, jay and i headed out to hollywood for the one-of-a-kind roscoe's chicken and waffles and guess who we saw? tara reid. we parked the car and walked to the entrance to put our names in. during the wait, jay pointed out that the blonde girl that was also waiting looked familar. my eyes arent that great, but as i stared at her she did look like tara reid. she was with some asian dude that i think was the DJ from linkin park. when her table was ready, i heard "TARA!" and she got up and went in the restaurant. as she passed by us, i heard her familiar scratchy voice from american pie and confirmed it. yea it was her. jason was star struck and just kept staring at her.





afterwards, we went to the hollywood and highland complex to check out some hip bowling place. it was called lucky strikes and it is part nightclub, restaurant, bar and bowling alley. the place would be pretty cool to hang out once we bring more people with us, but 3 people is not worth the money to bowl. i approve of that place and we must go back definitely once joe saves up $5 in pennies. after we scoped that place out, we went to hollywood billiards to shoot some pool. i have heard of that place being the most popular billiard hangout and decided to give it a try, since it is open till 4am. that place has about 40 pool tables and is also a cool place to chill with 2 bars, a lounge, and appetizers. so next time when theres nothing to do in hollywood, we will know where to go.

game 6 of the NHL finals is the best hockey game i have yet seen. mighty ducks versus new jersey devils. the series was 3-2. in the first period of the game, the ducks scored 3 goals where the devils scored zip. after that, devils scored 1 and the ducks made 2 more goals. the weakling, paul kariya was knocked out one time but he managed to get up after 5 min flat on his back. somehow, the doctors gave him some drugs and he shot a light speed goal right after he came back out. this was a very aggressive game throughout the whole time and both teams never settled to catch a breath. the final score, 5-2 ducks and the series is now tied 3-3. game 7 will be in new jersey on monday night.